USING WORDS WISELY

He that hath knowledge spareth his words:
And a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit.
Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise:
And he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.
(Proverbs 17:27-28 – KJV)

I am one of those people who go through periods of life with the perpetual flavor of my lower digits in my mouth. You would think I would have learned after the first few times I made an idiot out of myself. Especially those times people’s feelings got hurt or somebody was irritated so much they didn’t want to get into a discussion with me for months.

And I do learn something. I apologize for my mistake. I try to explain where my human nature got the better of me, or where I misunderstood, and what I’m going to do to keep it from happening in the future. I once read a joke that seemed really appropriate: Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth. And I really make an effort … for a while.

Then there are the times something has happened that stuns me speechless. Some of my loved ones may joke, saying that is a huge improbability. But it has occurred on occasion that somebody catches me off-guard with some despicable utterance or act. And then I lie awake for several nights afterward mentally kicking myself about all the things I could and should have said.

I promise myself if a similar situation ever arises, I will be more prepared to defend the helpless person or the righteous cause. But the fact of the matter is, even having witnessed some of the worst side of humanity and knowing my treasured scripture promises things are only going to get worse as the Lord tarries, I still succumb to denial that I will ever be confronted with such brazen behavior again. And I doubt anybody can fully prepare themselves for specifics anyway.

Also, I find myself plagued by the times I’ve been very careful not to say anything until asked for advice and I am very careful to give my very best according to all the wisdom I have from research and experience, only to have it thrown back in my face. Sometimes it is immediately, sometimes later, but always the requester never puts the advice to the test or executes it improperly. Regardless, the result is these people label me one of three things: idiot, liar or lunatic.

I tell myself, Jesus warned us we would go through these things because they were done to even Him, and that the Apostles counted it a great honor to suffer similarly to our Savior. But it hurts deeply, nonetheless.

I’m sure I’m forgetting several other types of situations where communications just break down between people all the time. I guess the most important thing is to just try to keep the lines open. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” And of course, the Scriptures tell us that we can display any number of gifts, but if we do nothing with love it won’t matter.

 
And Jesus is still the most perfect example of love I know. So I can think of nobody whose words are wiser.

COUNTING THE COST

Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13 (KJV)

So many people forget our founding fathers set up “separation of Church and State,” as they like to call it, because European countries for too long had been torn in bloody conflicts because of governments oppressing religious freedoms. The basic legal, ethical and moral foundation of our government came from their primary religious beliefs. Our Declaration of Independence stated: that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights. And then the First Amendment to our Constitution enacted: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof.

As long as we aren't committing human sacrifice, abusing children or contributing to terrorist causes, we should be free to conduct our religious business according to how the consensus of our respective congregations see the will of God. Our government, according to our constitution should not be able to interfere. Yet we as voting citizens have the right to insist our government serve us as we see fit. If that means we in the "moral" ranks are in the majority, then the rest of the nation will just have to understand that is the way democracy works.

In our country today, so many people want to sweep talk of religion and morality under some huge rug of what is politically correct or socially convenient. They tend to forget the people who sacrificed their lives for our freedom to worship or not as we choose. They would rather not go through the uncomfortable feeling of learning about the thousands of people dying around the world even now for their faith in Christ. It certainly never occurs to them what their neighbor may have suffered to come to such a strong belief that they end each conversation with “God bless you;” they just wish it would stop because they don’t know what to say in return.

Some of them have told me they think church-going Christians are all hypocrites. Each attended a couple of churches where they saw some people behave in a manner that sure wasn’t like what Jesus talked about. Whether it was greed, gossip, criticism, lust, selfishness or just not acting welcoming, somebody hurt their feelings. So they stopped trying to find a church or group of Christians to fellowship with.

It was wrong for any Christians to hurt them. But it was equally wrong for them to judge all Christians on the actions of a few and join the Ban-All-Religious-Jargon bandwagon because of it. I once heard Zig Ziglar say, “If you stop going to church because of a hypocrite, you’re just letting the hypocrite come between you and God.” When you learn to forgive, like Jesus talked about, you release yourself from the chains of bitterness that prevent you from moving on with your life successfully. We need to learn to take personal responsibility for our struggles with faith, not blame them on others and try to destroy the most important freedom we have in this country.

Maybe I’m particularly sensitive to this issue because I think how fortunate it was that my great-grandparents moved the families out of Poland and to America before they could be trapped by the events that led to the Shoah, the Holocaust. So many did not have the chance to fight for the freedom to worship, or did not recognize when that moment existed until it was ripped from them. Those events are being repeated around the world today where men are dragged from where they work by day or from their homes in the dark of night to be tortured where their families are not allowed to see them. Women are raped and children slaughtered.

Mainstream media rarely carries the stories of these events because the victims are Christians. It is not considered a popular issue in our country. We are selling away the lifeblood of these innocents the same way we did the European Jews of the early 20^th century. And in our own country we are giving away more and more of our own rights, until one day we may be surprised to awaken without any.

According to my grandmother, my grandfather couldn’t wait to be rid of his U.S. Army uniform after he came home. She said he never wanted to see it again or talk about the time he served during World War II. As one who struggles with PTSD I can understand. He was a gentle man. But I’m glad she saved a picture of him in uniform and that I got to see it. I was so proud of him. He served at a time when an evil machine was trying to eradicate millions of people of his faith.

There have been several men in my family who served our country during times of conflict. As far as I know we did not lose any physical lives while in service. But I know that almost all of them came home changed because they had to bury a piece of themselves somewhere those of us who have never served can never see. So every Memorial Day I give my thanks to God for the sacrifice they made for our freedom.